...yeah, but look how nice that collar fits
I have a confession – I have been diagnosed with several of those syndromes I refuse to recognize. Pfft. And they take turns kicking my ass and limiting me in many infuriating and humilating ways.
Thanks to the internet and the wonderful friends I’ve made here, I learned there’s a whole grip of us out here who deal with an ongoing basis with cyclical dysfunction of one type or another. And the one lesson that is the hardest to learn is that hating yourself for being sick doesn’t make you any better.
At the urging of The Hun, and with the benefit of my past experience, I’m going to pass on what I’ve learned about to how to help yourself be your own best patient and best nurse during a scheduled downtime.
- Make hay when the sun shines-(or, set aside some customized sunshine for a blah day)
In my case, this means that it’s always in the back of my mind that I might really appreciate a little extra homemade soup in freezer or fancy home made bath salts on a day when I’ve got energy to spare. This zero-sum, win-win strategy both reminds you when you’re sidelined that you are able to take care of yourself, and gives your (my) Puritan work ethic a rest at the same time.
- Set aside something wonderful just for when you’re down the rabbit-hole.
The teacup is from my friend Laiza’s dowry chest in Kiev. The hat was designed for me by my friend Mr Smartyman. The frankincense was my son’s. And the soup mix lasts forever, costs next to nothing, and can be on the table ten minutes after I finally drag myself out of bed and want a hot meal.
All of these things have powerful initial memories attached. And they are all saved for only those times when I’m too knackered to leave the house.
As much as it sucks to spend my birthday in bed (for instance, like I did this year), it helps to know I can look forward to a steamy frankincense bath, followed by hot pepper vodka from my Russian cup while wearing my fairy-web hat in bed.
- Go outside. Go outside. Go outside. Even if just for the length of one breath. Watch birds. Look at the stars. Feel the earth turn. Know this too will pass.
These cherry blossoms only appear on trees with cold feet.
- Don’t forget the 12-Minute Art Break.
That’s what I just did. You’re welcome.
Keep a sense of perspective
Play the hand you’re dealt, Dorothy. It’s only a game. And you’re only a loser if you blame and complain.
How do YOU remind yourself of your strength and courage when you’re sick/injured/depressed/can’t cope?
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My recurring setback is depression.
None of the poll results apply to me.
When I’m down the rabbit hole I try to banish some thoughts. Anything along the lines of “always” or “never.” Those two unchangeable, eternal words are my enemies.
I fail *sometimes*.
Also, intensifier words are not useful to me then. “Very” (which a good word to avoid in general), “extremely,” “strongly,” etc. They satisfy my darker side to express, but they only prolong the misery.
Buddha and Dr. King would agree with this.
Actions begin in the mind. The best way to change our feelings is with our thoughts. For us verbal types, what better way than the old word-soldiers?
You have actually articulated the basis of cognitive behavioral therapy, which is the one thing that has worked for me the longest and best. It’s the hardest one to do, too. Ain’t it a bitch?
Brilliant, as always. Yes, I said always. You must be making me feel better.
All great suggestions, especially the “set aside something wonderful”. Many years ago during some of the darkest days I found solace in a trifecta of chamomile tea, my journal and this one particular classical CD, which I still have. Something about this particular combination struck a chord with me and became a huge part of healing some pretty bad stuff. I hate the emotional rollercoaster, but if I’m stuck on this ride I might as well make the most of it, right?
That sounds really nice. We can save so much valuable energy by giving in to the inevitable low tide, y’know? Yeah, I know, it takes a while to remember it.
Journals can be tricky, though….if you think of writing as something you have to do, they can be another way to make yourself feel guilty. Classical music! thanks, I’ll have to remind myself that’s worked for hundreds of years.
Thanks for taking the time to comment. Commenting to friends is the first casualty of low energy.
I think I have a hard time with giving in to that tide. A fear of the unknown mixed with loss of control has been historically bad for me so I really need to practice the giving in part.
The journals were always integral for me because I didn’t use them as a tool for consciously working out my issues. I treated it much like a mental wastebasket. Dump my thoughts, close the book and put it on a shelf until next time. I was turned on to classical music by my husband of all people and I have used it for coping ever since. While they say Bach is good for the mind because it is metered in a very logical way, I am more of a Beethoven/Chopin/Rachmaninov kind of girl. I also like Mozart, but I have to be in the mood. He’s a bit fluffy for my taste. If you ever need recommendations, I’ll be happy to link you to a few samples.
And you are always welcome to my comments. The hard truth is, not everyone is comment worthy…but that’s not true in your case. ;)
Yes! I invited people to come and read and they did. Hooray hooray!
Let’s keep this going. I don’t know about you, but I need it now.
I’m definitely in the “ice cream and Oprah” category, though I wouldn’t watch her unless my life depended on it. Still, crying at commercials always seems to help somehow.
The practice of leaving your future self presents is one that we should all adopt, no matter what state we’re in. There will always be down days, and we will always need help from our past self to get through them.
Excellent stuff.
teh writing and righteous anger.
it seems a better trajectory for the bile than inward.
i have made a pact with myself to go back and read though because it keeps me from making the same stupid mistakes more than once.
mostly.
This is an awesome post RaggedyAnnarchy, thanks for putting it out there.
I usually do mental cartwheel – sometimes for YEARS – before finally working it out. Usually it takes a friendly ear for me to finally put it to rights. Thank goodness for the seriously excellent people in my life, who, without, I would be a basket case.
Oh yes, and a little “Controlled Abandon” Mayhem doesn’t hurt. I used to get a lot of relief from repeatedly ramming my artcar into a HUGE 4 inch think metal teacup sculpture. Safety First kids! errrr, or third as it were.
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